But How?

I stepped through the door to Baker Street for the second time that night. I really had no idea how I was going to start a conversation like this with Holmes. Thankfully I didn't have to be worried about Mrs. Hudson. She was long asleep by this hour. I moved up the stairs into the sitting room, looking for my partner.

“Holmes...?”

He was seated at the far side of the room with his chair turned toward the window. There was a wooden case just beside him and I could see that he was holding something. Cocain no doubt. I stalked forward, moving around the chair and taking hold of his hand. He hadn't had a chance to inject yet. I pulled the needle out of his hand, kneeling on ground in front of him. He refused to look at me.

“I'm sorry Watson.” He spoke softly. “I suppose you could never look at me the same again. Please.... Go on with life.”

I could say nothing. I knew he wouldn't listen now. Holmes was stubborn, but he couldn't argue was facts. I propped myself up on both my knees, despite the pain from my right. I took his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me and before he could jerk it away, I leaned forward, kissing him. I leaned back a moment later, seeing tears run down his face. His eyes had been closed, but opened to look straight at me.

“But... How?”

“I love you, Holmes. Pure and simple.”

“But.. But you can't! Mary... You love Mary.”

“I think you already know I don't. I thought I did... But I know better now. I tried to love her...”

“What will you tell her? You can't ruin everything for me.”

“I don't know Holmes. I don;t know.” I still had my hands on his shoulders. “I'll find something...”

“You know this is illegal...”

“But Holmes... You need me.”

“More than you could ever know...”

I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around him. He let his head rest on my chest. His breathing sounded as though he could cry, but I knew he wouldn't. Holmes was one to keep his emotion hidden. I had always known he wasn't as cold as he seemed. He needed someone.

I would be there for him.